Cheap shots — I’ve had my share.
Well, moderately thick-skinned, anyway.
When I started writing Domain Name Wire in early 2005, I was just getting my feet wet in the world of instantaneous, anonymous, public feedback. As any blogger will tell you, it isn’t always pretty. You have to have thick skin in this world. If you have thin skin, you take attacks personally and let it eat away at you.
Thanks to the relative anonymity of leaving comments on blogs, many people take the opportunity to lob cheap shots. When you start out blogging, this can get to you.
I recall sitting on a panel at GeoDomain Fest earlier this year with Elliot Silver. He admitted that he had “thin skin”. I promptly responded that I thought his blog sucked.
It was a joke, but any blogger will tell you they frequently get comments like that. They aren’t constructive, and often times the commenter doesn’t mean for them to be. It’s like the people who join forums only to start flame wars.
Learning how to deal with criticism is part of the game. After all, disagreement is a good thing and important for discourse. There are two types of criticism in my book: thoughtful criticism and idiot criticism.
Just because something is thoughtful doesn’t mean you have to agree with it. Stephen Douglas and I often disagree. But when he leaves a comment about a post I make, he clearly outlines why he thinks differently. That’s thoughtful and adds value.
Then there’s idiot criticism, which is comments like “This post is stupid”, “Are you an idiot?”, and “This is news?” (I got one of the latter ones this week). These comments are almost always anonymous, and don’t add any value. I call them YouTube comments. (Seriously, have you ever seen the comments on videos at YouTube? I always wondered who spent their time leaving those comments. Then I met all of them one day when I had to stand in line at the drivers license bureau.)
When I first started blogging, I’d usually take the bait and respond to comments like these. After all, I can’t let this person take the last shot! But taking the bait is exactly what the commenter wants you to do. Don’t go for it. Your other readers will look at the stupid comment and say “what a stupid comment” and move on. You don’t need to defend yourself. If you ever find yourself writing “I probably shouldn’t bother responding to your comment, but…”, then stop writing your response. In fact, sometimes making no response is the most powerful response. People that try to egg you on get bored if you don’t take the bait.
So my skin’s getting a little thicker. And yes, I’m fully prepared for the smart ass comments that will be left on this post (assuming the smart asses aren’t all out Christmas shopping).
Tim Davids says
I could never figure out why they called them “smart” asses…
Nameclerk says
Do you allow the “You Tube” comments to show up on your blog? I’m referring to the ones that only criticize and offer no other value at all.
Andrew Allemann says
NameClerk – usually. But if someone does it to the point of spamming, then I delete them.
Mansour says
Andrew,
Spending the time to write this long post shows me that you are not yet a thick-skinned blogger yet. In my book, they call them human, and we like you the way you are. You don’t need to change anything.
Andrew Allemann says
@ Mansour – Ok, Ok…but thicker than when I started 🙂
Andrew Allemann says
@ NameClerk — one more thing. You have to watch out for the opposite: true spam engines that leave comments like “this is the best blog post I’ve ever seen” with a link in the URL field.
intheshadows says
You call this news?
John Humphrey says
Just the kind of crap I’d expect from a rabid PC fan ;–)
Mansour says
I see that the talking heads are coming out of the pack, like the hyenas at night. They have smelled blood. Easy guys. If you want to make a comment, don’t submit a half-ass one liner. Explain yourselves, and if you put some shit on the cake, either eat it or say why you put the shit on it.
Andrew Allemann says
@ Mansour – I think they’re just being sarcastic 🙂
bonkers says
If your blog was any good, I would comment on it.
errr… I mean comment on it lots more…
errr… 🙂
Bret Fausett says
I feel your pain. If I ever blog again, I’ll do it with comments turned off. When I blogging, the best feedback/contribution/criticism I ever got came via email, not comments.
– Bret
Jay says
Andrew your blog along with Mike Berkens and Ron Jackson are my top 3, I read a handful of others as well but I think you do a really good job and you should ignore anonymous posts cause they can’t hold much weight if they don’t have the balls to sign them, as far as Stephen Douglas goes I don’t agree with everything he says but ya gotta love the guy cause he signs everything.
Steve M says
… and besides; becoming too “thick of skin” leaves one looking a lot like a lizard … and as we all know, it’s hard to take a lizard seriously. 😉
Happy Holidays everyone.
Louise says
You inspired me to register close to 200 names since I started reading your blog regularly . . . hope you’re happy! 😉
Andrew Allemann says
@ Louise – I don’t know…perhaps you’ll hate me in a year 🙂
Chef Patrick says
Blogging Ain’t Easy 🙂
Michael Ward says
“Blogging Ain’t Easy” — But somebody has to do it 🙂 I am glad that our industry has several outstanding bloggers covering it. This domain name industry is still in its infancy (believe it or not) and our industry bloggers are pioneers that are directly contributing to the development of it. Andrew and all industry bloggers deserve a huge “Thank You” for their work.
Happy Holidays
Michael
Allen T. says
Andrew:
Don’t pay any attention to those fools, you along with the rest of the bloggers are doing a great job.
rob sequin says
You have to have a thick skin AND be psychotically passionate about your blog so IT IS nice when you get thoughtful comments or comments that enhance the conversation.
I might also add that any good blogger has to love his blog more than he loves his wife.
Sure we couldn’t live without either but a good blogger will certainly spend more time with his blog than he does with his wife.
Add up the hours per day that you spend thinking about your blog, tweaking, marketing, writing content, reviewing comments, monetizing etc and think about how much time you spend with your wife.
The blog wins right?
Some of you may know I have a very large blog/information source and forum about a certain Caribbean country south of Florida that draws LOTS of political commentary.
All day long I read anonymous comments, spam comments, off-topic self promotional comments etc so yes, it is nice to get some worthwhile feedback or original content that contributes to the conversation.
I guess this is where I could say:
1. I hope you understand those big words I wrote you Texas hillbilly.
or
2. What a stupid rant. I guess you have nothing important to write about today?
but I won’t 🙂
Andrew Allemann says
@ Rob – That’s it, I’m going to go write comments about how U.S. citizens shouldn’t be able to visit Cuba on your blog!
🙂
Dave Zan says
Really, the only reason some people’s comments affect you is if you let them affect you. Just remember you control how you react or feel towards things, and what others think don’t dictate on you.
Admittedly I learned this the hard way. But…it’s a good lesson.
Bill F says
Actually, the comment about the drivers license bureau made me laugh.
So far as the trolls, it’s hard not to respond. It helps to remember that your sharpest comebacks will go completely over their heads.
Bill Sweetman says
Hey Andrew, first of all, keep up the great work on your blog. It’s a must-read and a daily habit for me now.
Your post reminds me of a funny quote from filmmaker Leon Marr who I first heard speak in the 80’s and have never forgotten:
“Everyone’s entitled to their wrong opinion.”
;+)
Happy holidays!
Jerry says
Andrew, you are an inspiration to me too! Not to reg domains (cuz I don’t wanna hate you in a year, lol) but to start my blog. I’ve been on the fence about it for a while, but I’ve realized that I’m passionate enough about this industry that I could offer a unique insight into what its like for a guy who’s only been in for a couple years. I should grow a layer of skin or 2 cuz this one’s really gonna taunt the idiots! There are pros out here who’ve forgotten more than I know, but I think I’m ready to make a go at it. Thanks for YOUR unique insight and for all that you bring to the industry.
Happy Holidays everyone!
Stephen Douglas says
Whoa!
Did somebody mention my name in the same sentence as “Thoughtful” and even “gotta luv the guy?” — wow! So writing 3,885 posts on DNW has finally paid off! 😉 Thx guys, that’s nice of you to say.
Seriously, I agree with Dub-A. It’s hard to write your opinion, knowing you’re putting yourself out in the public to possibly deal with hateful responses, mostly from people with thinner skin than you.
This is a big topic to discuss for active and conscientious domainers. I think Dub-A has made a great point regarding posting your opinion on articles and making comments where some other poster doesn’t agree. Avoiding the “personal attacks” is easy if you identify yourself and state your case, watching your spelling and grammar, and think logically because it forces you to know how far you will push the boundaries.
My problem is that I go for the jugular if someone gets personal. I will gladly go toe-to-toe in a flame war with anyone, because I will embarrass them with words, without having to go personal if I can help it. If they prove me wrong, I’ll gladly admit it and apologize, because as Dub-A says: ” …disagreements are important for discourse”. You can’t let it get to you, and you can’t stop writing if you think your message is correct and fair.
On my blog, if someone posts something nasty and does it anonymously, they don’t get posted. period. It’s a waste to publish their comments because readers can’t “see” who the person is and where they might be coming from. Posting anonymously places the writer in a nebulous position. No great quotation, speech, poem, or story in history was ever made by “Anonymous”, at least on purpose. This isn’t a censored-political state, yet.
My passion is fairness and justice. I’d love to see everyone happy and joyful, and I wish that was a possibility but I know it isn’t. Personal attacks and “intimidation” are several factors that bullies use to prevent someone from publishing their honest perception of facts. You can see these types of responses from people whose eyes and hearts are blinded by greed, manipulated opportunity, and the power they have become addicted to, (or just plain self-loathing.)
Even SILENCE is a sign of arrogance regarding many legitimate, well-explained complaints. (We all can think of two or three companies who we have legitimate complaints about but who never respond, don’t care, and don’t need to care. A good dose of “legal recommendations” have most likely been made to them, and no domainer making millions sliding quietly in the nether zones of ethical business practices wants to “join in” when they’re being called to the mat. No response usually means “yeah, maybe, maybe not, but we don’t care because we’ll just wait until it blows over and keep dumping cash in the bank”).
Dub-A, by his efforts, consistently tries to provide objective and honest information for the domaining crowd. Sometimes that information will step on some people’s toes.
It’s not easy to take a stand against the arrogance of any powerful domainer and even non-domainers (reverse hijackers) who think they’ll get away with their chicanery. In too many ways, we let them.
Speak out, use your name, and your voice can be a weapon for justice. Go Dub-A.
Domain Investor says
Quote –
“If they prove me wrong, I’ll gladly admit it and apologize,”
I prove him wrong all of the time but he has never apologized !!!
Just kidding. I find myself agreeing with Stephen more often than not.
Andrew,
You do a great job covering the domain industry. I’m often surprised how quickly you post breaking news.
Plus, I rarely spot any mistyped words.
I also find that I visit DNW a number of times a day. Most of the time to see all of the intelligent comments to your articles.
I learn a lot from all of the posted comments (except Stephen’s).
🙂
Stephen Douglas says
@Dominici Le Investeré
lol
Good one bro. You made me laugh. So because of that…
Here is your Holiday gift coupon from “the” source:
“Domain Investor, I apologize for being wrong and I thank you for showing me the proper path.”
This coupon is redeemable at anytime, regardless if you’re wrong, which is most the time… heh heh… j/k bro
Happy Holidays everyone