A bit of domain name satire to get you going this Monday morning.
[This past weekend I came across one of those web sites blaming parked domain names for all that ills the internet. The site used the typical logic: parked domains are unused, and it’s not fair that someone who will develop the domains can’t get access to them for a reasonable price. Here’s my satirical response.]
I’m fed up. Outraged. And it’s time for the government to step in and do something about a problem that plagues our great country: empty land.
For example, a few miles down the lake from my neighborhood is a beautiful waterfront lot of 1.4 acres. After all these years, it is still undeveloped. The owner says he was thinking about building a house there one day, but we all know he bought it just to resell it to someone else for more than he paid for it. The ad even says “football-field sized” green, lakefront yard”. In other words, he knows it’s a great generic piece of land that can be developed with a number of types of houses. And he wants $4.25 million for it!
It’s time the government mandates land be developed or surrendered to anyone else who wants to build on it. If nothing else, the owner should be required to sell the land to someone for a fair price if that person wants to develop it. This price should be capped at $50,000. Anything more is just extortion.
Closer to my house, there are several empty lots along my street. It pains me to look at these empty lots every day. They could be put to greater use! Some of the owners of these lots even have the audacity to place ads on their property saying that the land is for sale. It’s not fair that I should have to pay $100k per lot just to build on this land. These lots have been empty for 50 years. If the owners had any intention of building on them, they would have done so by now. Like I’m actually going to believe the guy that said he’s going to build his retirement home on his land. I’ve heard that one before!
So let’s get a petition started. Let’s tell the land management office it needs to do something about these mean, ill-spirited land owners that hoard property for “investment purposes”. Let’s call it what it is: squatting.
Too Many Secrets says
Andrew,
Ahahahaha, great post. Just what we needed on a Monday morning!
– Richard
Ricardo says
I own the lot behind the lot that is for sale. My house has been on that lot for 20 yrs.
I’m annoyed that the waterfront lot owner had the nerve to place a large “for sale” sign on the lot. He is infringing on the view I have had for 20 yrs.
Elliot says
People don’t look at it the same way because they are somewhat clueless when it comes to domain names. These are the same people that offer $100 for a $50,000 domain name.
Bryan says
Awesome post Andrew! Spot on. 🙂
DR. DOMAIN says
Careful Andrew.Some busybody out there might not “get it” & push for legislation. ;^D
DR. DOMAIN says
Kinda’ off topic…but close enough.I saw where some Canadian dude bought the full panel of : FLIGHT 1549.COM
Whaddya’ think that’ll fetch?
john andrews says
I have a related complaint. I live at 12 Jones Road and I am constantly getting my doorbell rung by people looking for 12 Joans Road (the address of a restaurant across town). Most people can tell my house is not a restaurant, but some still ring my bell asking me for directions Joan’s.
To make myself feel better, I created a list of local restaurants and posted it by the doorbell. Problem solved… I thought.
Joan’s Restaurant actually tried to sue me for recommending other local restaurants to people who came to my house by mistake! They asked the court to make me change my address or at least limit my restaurant recommendations to their place.
Can you believe people….
Ricardo says
John Andrews quote –
“Joan’s Restaurant actually tried to sue me for recommending other local restaurants to people who came to my house by mistake!”
I realize you got tired of writing the directions. But, it was when you started charging $ 0.10 for the map that got you in trouble.
You can’t win.
Did you consider giving them your house so they could tear it down and put up a buildboard showing directions to their famous restaurant at 12 Joans Road?
M. Menius says
@john andrews – “Joan’s Restaurant actually tried to sue me …They asked the court to make me change my address or at least limit my restaurant recommendations to their place.”
I was about to write you MUST be joking! Sounds like no one stopped to consider your inconvenience or the cost to your time and privacy of having strangers come up to your door and interrupt your day. Amazing. They’re the same type folks who try to slip on a banana peel.
Duane says
This post made my day and then reading the coments realy cracked me up.
Reading this reminded me of a offer e recieved for a generic .com name 2 weeks ago.
First offer $60
My asking price which was absolutely fair, was $ 6400
His reply $60 and noted this was his last offer.
I quit further discussions and extended the registration on the name for another 5 years.
It’s like Elliot said, people have no idea outside of this world.
Sean Stafford says
Andrew,
Great post! We’ve all been there with these lowball offers and this exactly sums everything up.
It’s funny how people want domain names reallocated for cheap or even free, but if we tried to reallocate their family plot of land for cheap or free they would be up in arms.
People looooooove communism until it is their property that is the subject of reallocation. Then they change their minds!
Great post once again!!!
Regards,
Sean Stafford
http://www.domaingraduate.com
http://www.sitegraduate.com
dch says
The commenters are laughing it up, but expropriation based on greater economic benefits is now justified under the law in the United States.
Kelo v. City of New London, decided by the Supreme Court in 2005, changed the scope of real property rights.
Justice O’Connor:
“Under the banner of economic development, all private property is now vulnerable to being taken and transferred to another private owner, so long as it might be upgraded–i.e., given to an owner who will use it in a way that the legislature deems more beneficial to the public–in the process.”
Now that economic development alone can serve as adequate justification to expropriate land, what is to stop the same principle from being applied to domains?
Dave Zan says
Resistance from some people, of course. 😉
jp says
LOL.
The parallels between domain names and land always seems so obvious to me, but alas not everyone can be as smart as we are.
Many times I’ll bet the same guy who is sitting on some undeveloped beach front land is the guy making a $100 offer on a $100k domain, complaining that the domain is undeveloped. Going back to a post I read a few minutes ago, how did this guy get his land by the beach? Was it his intelligence?