Interview with Ted Stevens Regarding Phishing Bill
Monday, March 10th, 2008
A conversation with Ted Stevens (R-AK), a co-sponsor of “Anti-Phishing Consumer Protection Act of 2008”.
[Editors note: I recently had a chance to catch up with Senator Ted Stevens on an all-expense paid hunting trip courtesy of ExxonMobile. He was kind enough to answer a few questions about the so-called anti-phishing bill.]
Domain Name Wire (DNW): Senator Stevens, it’s such a pleasure to be on this trip with you.
Ted Stevens: Yeah, well my aides told me you contributed to my campaign.
DNW: Yes, yes of course. Hey, can I ask you a question about that phishing bill you are supporting?
Stevens: Yeah, OK [grunts].
DNW: Why are you co-sponsoring the bill?
Stevens: Well, Alaska is a big state for fishing, you know. It’s a big part of our economy. And a lot of seniors are scammed by bogus fishing trips that are shorter than advertised and led by unauthorized tour guides.
DNW: Um, with all due respect I don’t think you understa—
Stevens: What! Are you questioning me? Where are you from, anyway?
DNW: Texas, sir.
Stevens: Well don’t tell me what I should know about fishing in Alaska.
DNW: But this bill is about stealing peoples’ information through phishing, with a “ph”.
Stevens: Huh? Does that have to do with that Interweb thing — err World Wide Internet — err, you know, the series of tubes?
DNW: Yes, yes, the series of tubes.
Stevens: I don’t trust that thing. Just the other day my staff sent me an internet and I didn’t get it for three days. Too many kids downloading music on that MyTube thing, I guess.
DNW: Right. Anyway, why would you be supporting this bill, which is really just a masquerade for tougher trademark laws and will increase the costs of legitimate small businesses?
Stevens: Look, to be honest with you Senator Olympia Snowe just told me I should attach my name to this. And some big companies that line my pockets told me to sign the thing too.
DNW: Ah, I see.
[loud scream]
Stevens: Oh, Damn! Did Cheney just shoot Larry Craig in the face?!?!
[Editor's note, part 2: Thanks to Stephen Colbert and his Better Know a District for the inspiration, as well as The Onion.]
Related posts:
- Senate Anti-Phishing Bill (or Reverse Cybersquatting in Disguise)
- EFF: Anti-Phishing Bill “A Free Speech Double Whammy”
- Site Parodies Sarah Palin and GoDaddy: But How Would Bob Vote?
Tags: Olympia Snowe, phishing, Ted Stevens
Great interview Andrew !
Maybe it’s not too late for Senator Ted Stevens to leave the phishing boat before it sinks
Thanks…figured I’d have a little fun on a Monday morning.
April 01 came early this year.
Do you think next time maybe Chaney can shoot
Ted Stevens?
Patrick
@ Patrick – that would be nice. I’m sure Stevens would apologize to Cheney for the “inconvenience he had caused” by being shot in the face.
I originally put McCain instead of Larry Craig, before I realized that he probably wouldn’t be on a trip paid for by ExxonMobile
…ahhhh…more fine insight from the same guy who almost got away with blowing $200,000,000+ (so much more effect showing all the zeros, dontcha know) on that Alaska bridge to nowhere a couple years back…while many thousands of good people go to bed hungry every night in America.
Damn people like this.
good stuff.
[...] also gave money to Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens, one of the backers of the Snowe Bill. But he donated before the Snowe Bill and this was a smart [...]